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a long time ago back in the Middle Ages

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the world was in search of some sort of

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order

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not that long ago I said the Middle Ages

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middle

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are there things were different then it

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was an uncivilized time

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because of this it was also known as the

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Dark Ages

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not that dark

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it was during this time that the Vikings

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were some of the most powerful men on

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Earth they were uncultured they were

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illiterate they didn't wash they were

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barbarians and apparently they were

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pretty proud of all this the Vikings

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made their living by sailing off to

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foreign lands and taking home souvenirs

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they didn't pay for this could be an

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easy job please don't bother to get up

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or it could be additional plus it all

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depended on who you were taking the

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souvenirs from

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the most famous Viking of all was laith

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Erickson

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horrible

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and this is the story of Hagar as he

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returns home to his wife Helga and his

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two children honey and Hamlet

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[Music]

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all right

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[Music]

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man the faster we roll the faster we'll

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be home with our wives and candy

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[Music]

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dad

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Hamlet it says Viking Academy Award most

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promising Barbarian

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my boy Daddy

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honey Olaf we're engaged my daughter's

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marrying a great Viking and my son's

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gonna be a great fighter

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have you sighted land yet lucky Eddie

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nope have you tried looking in the

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direction we're going

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well

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careful you guys huh I almost fell out

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of here

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um

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[Music]

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your home late from work again Hagar you

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are due back three months ago oh I knew

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you'd be at the door to greet me

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honey

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Hamlet dead

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these are for you

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wow

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squeeze this

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oh

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so kids do you have anything or anyone

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to show me huh what

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kids set an extra place for your father

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[Music]

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put your homework

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the Viking Academy has him doing

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homework what's happened to that school

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Hagar cut your meat before you eat it

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so honey do you have any news well I'm

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engaged my 16 year old daughter engaged

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at long last I hoped you'd be happy

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about it happy how's this yeah

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can you help me get dressed

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[Music]

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congratulations Olaf who are you hello

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sir my name's loot I'm here to see honey

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ah sorry she's getting ready for a date

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[Music]

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yes excuse me sir but I am Honey's date

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sure and I'm a leprechaun

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[Music]

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everybody Honey's engaged and even if

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she wasn't she wouldn't give some guy

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like you loot honey I see you've met my

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father several times already dad

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this is loot nice to meet you

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and he's marrying me well we better be

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going I'm glad you two finally met bye

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Elga what's going on here I come home

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after a short two-year business trip and

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what do I find my son's reading books

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and my daughters engaged to a guy from

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the wrong side of the Fjord instead of

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Olaf the man of my dreams how could you

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let this happen are you trying to ruin

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the lack of civilization as we know it

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keep poetry homework no way was I gonna

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wait for the next parents night to deal

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with this recess

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[Applause]

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well I've never had a very high opinion

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of the Viking Academy myself they threw

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me out after my first day and I've gone

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on to become a pretty famous Viking

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oh but they're sorry they ever threw me

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out of here hello Hagar hey aren't you

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lucky Eddie that's right

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it's okay he's with me come on Lucky

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Eddie well he can just forget about me

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speaking at graduation

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haga welcome back lucky Eddie he's with

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me it's good to see you again Hagar

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you've done the school proud we

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certainly were right when we named you

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most likely to ravage foreign lands

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what brings you here today we came on

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foot

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seems we were right about him too

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sir last night I got back from ravaging

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a few foreign lands

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and I found my son Hamlet doing poetry

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homework I ask you is that the kind of

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thing you're teaching aspiring young

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Vikings nowadays of course not we have a

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reputation to uphold here that must be

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from some other school he's going to you

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see Hamlet flunked out of the Viking

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Academy

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[Applause]

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ah

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here is his report card yes

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what's it say I don't know either but

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people who read

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tell me it's bad

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[Music]

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I was on my way out

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I can't believe it a son of mine

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out of Viking Academy

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at least I'm in a good angry mood to

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give Olaf a piece of my mind for dumping

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honey

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[Music]

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gar lucky Eddie hi come on in I was just

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fixing dinner

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why Olaf why why did you break my little

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girl's heart and mine too but Hagar I

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didn't drop honey she dropped me she

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said she wanted somebody with brains and

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good looks women you figure them out I

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can't believe she'd let you go what else

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did she say

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he said I was greasy and that I have Bad

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Manners yeah yeah so that's just it she

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said it like it was a negative thing uh

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what's happened to my family well Hamlet

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flunked out of Viking Academy and honey

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dumped her fiancee for a musician boy

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where have you been all day

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Helga's really made up messages it's up

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to me to straighten everything out as

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usual

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will you stop cleaning and listen to me

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I thought the problem was the Viking

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Academy an Olaf but they're as good as

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ever the problem is the kids and how

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you've been bringing them up look if you

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think you can do better oh great wise

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one be my guest all right watch this

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honey Hamlet yeah Dad what you want look

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you kids mean the world to me but your

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mother's been letting you get away with

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murder

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well it's not gonna be that way now that

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I'm home

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honey I forbid you to marry any man who

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can't meet Viking standards so forget

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your engagement to that weird guy loot

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huh

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Hamlet I forbid you to read any more

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books until you improve your Viking

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skills and the Viking Academy agrees to

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take you back what what we'll start

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working at it first thing tomorrow well

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that's all gee

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so what do you think I wouldn't get my

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hopes up for Father's Day

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[Music]

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do you think it's wrong of me not to be

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glad dad's home after he's ruined our

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lives you mean wrong of us

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[Music]

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I love Dad too boy I bet if we didn't

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love anything we wouldn't be having

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these problems maybe there's a way to

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make everybody happy

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[Music]

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train Luke to be what Dad wants if you

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can make a viking out of loot I guess I

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can make a viking out of me

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[Music]

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oh

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[Music]

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all right

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[Music]

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what's wrong

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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[Music]

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uh if anyone needs me I'll be upstairs

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in bed for a few years

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I think Dad's going to be really

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impressed with you loot

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put it on your helmet

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[Music]

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Helga I brought a few guests home a few

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were you planning to build bleachers

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honey I'd like you to meet your future

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husband

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looks like it's going to be a big

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wedding not all of them we're gonna

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choose the best one oh good idea here he

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is

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who's he he doesn't look like any Viking

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we know

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well he is too a viking show him go on

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[Music]

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you are fighting using a napkin

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[Music]

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that's not how you pick a viking husband

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oh no well how should a husband be

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chosen I'll show you all right who wants

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to date my daughter

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well I'm finding honey

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shows real promise on the practice

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fields in just one day I think I've been

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able to undo much of the damage

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[Music]

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thank you

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[Music]

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ahead

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but I appreciate it

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[Music]

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come on not so rough get out

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who'd want to be married to her why is

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she miss wrong

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no no please if you hug me I could be a

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dead man honey as much as I love you I

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don't think this is going to work out no

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[Music]

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I'm sorry I'll never be what your father

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wants for you I made up my mind while I

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was flying out here I'm going to go

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where my music and gentlemanly qualities

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are appreciated

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but you can go I love you

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that's why I have to go goodbye goodbye

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we gave it a try my love

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anybody else want to take a shot

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hello

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[Music]

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where's the happy couple

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[Laughter]

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you ruined my life but I thought

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everything was going so well I found a

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real man for you

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I don't want a real man I want loot

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honey are you all right Hamlet you

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should be in bed we've got early

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catapult practice tomorrow

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That's my boy

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[Music]

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I got a kid who likes to read what do

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you do Sven I've got a daughter who

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Wants to Marry a guy who Combs his hair

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how did that happen Eric sometimes I

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wish I was like you Lars no wife no kids

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I've got a wife and five kids so you're

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a bad example did you have to point that

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out I mean couldn't you just got along

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with me on this I'm tearing my heart out

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here and you're getting picky about

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whether you've got a family or not

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where did I go wrong

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it's not you Hagar you said a good

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example I mean we don't call you the

285
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horrible for nothing face it you just

286
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got weird kids weird yeah hey maybe

287
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that's what you should call them honey

288
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the weird and Hamlet the weird

289
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[Laughter]

290
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looks like drinks are on Hagar

291
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oh my God my cat weird but you said

292
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that's right Hagar you said that's

293
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different than mine I can call them what

294
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I want with all my son reads books just

295
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because we don't know how doesn't mean

296
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it's not worthwhile and Honey's found

297
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:33,539
someone she loves and who loves her

298
00:18:33,539 --> 00:18:37,080
she's lucky a lot of people never find

299
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,220
that my kids aren't weird

300
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,160
they're just different

301
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,000
don't you forget it

302
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,160
foreign

303
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,520
oh hi hi I was just shooting the breeze

304
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,980
with the guys here that was really nice

305
00:18:58,980 --> 00:19:01,260
what you just said Hagar and I think it

306
00:19:01,260 --> 00:19:03,000
would be nice if you said the same thing

307
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,780
to the kids uh-uh no way you can't hold

308
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:10,460
me to that oh no

309
00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:12,140
okay

310
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,120
man we need a Viking helmet that covers

311
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the ears somebody get right on it

312
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:26,280
[Music]

313
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,179
loot honey doesn't want you to go so I

314
00:19:30,179 --> 00:19:33,419
guess I don't either you mean it sir do

315
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:35,220
you really want your daughter to marry

316
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someone who's dumb enough to ask me that

317
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not to mention dumb enough to think a

318
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boat would pick him up because he's

319
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thumbing hey buddy Wanna Live

320
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:49,799
no thanks I'm so happy I've just got to

321
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sing

322
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,120
[Music]

323
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,580
Hagar

324
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:57,720
sorry

325
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,780
dad

326
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:04,679
[Music]

327
00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:08,039
honey come out here

328
00:20:08,039 --> 00:20:10,470
I've got something for you

329
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[Music]

330
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:14,030
[Applause]

331
00:20:14,030 --> 00:20:21,559
[Music]

332
00:20:21,559 --> 00:20:26,280
oh thank you Dad please I'd rather not

333
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,840
take any credit for this

334
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:36,900
is it time for practice uh no

335
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:42,020
what's this doing under here it was cold

336
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,539
sorry Dad sorry I'm not a very good

337
00:20:45,539 --> 00:20:49,679
Viking well you tried anyway you're just

338
00:20:49,679 --> 00:20:52,440
better at other things but I'm not good

339
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,120
at things that could make you proud of

340
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:58,080
me well maybe

341
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,600
there's some off chance I could be proud

342
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,360
of you for the things you do best does

343
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,100
that mean I can read books and do

344
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homework again

345
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,830
wow

346
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:10,640
[Music]

347
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,080
lots of different things it's called

348
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,860
Aesop's Fables wanna hear one well maybe

349
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,200
one

350
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,120
and upon a time there was a tortoise in

351
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,400
the hair the hair was always bragging

352
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,679
about how fast he was and sneering at

353
00:21:25,679 --> 00:21:28,799
the tortoise because he was so slow one

354
00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:31,260
day the Tardis challenge that turned

355
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:32,980
into a race thank you

356
00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:40,019
[Music]

357
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foreign

358
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[Music]

359
00:21:52,580 --> 00:21:56,760
you feel better right well we've really

360
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,120
done it done what opens the floodgates

361
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:02,700
that's what pretty soon there won't be

362
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:05,100
any standards at all girls will be

363
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:07,320
trying to marry guys with brains instead

364
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,200
of Brawn kids all over the world will be

365
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,200
reading books and doing homework

366
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,900
can you imagine what kind of society

367
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:19,799
we'll have then it all started here and

368
00:22:19,799 --> 00:22:22,260
it's on our heads Helga

369
00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:24,440
are you asleep yet

370
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,780
no and after that speech of yours I'm as

371
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:31,140
surprised as you are good could you

372
00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:33,840
finish reading this story to me

373
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I can't wait to hear how it comes out

374
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:38,720
[Music]

375
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,240
the Tardis crawled along so slowly that

376
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,179
before long the hair was far far ahead

377
00:22:45,179 --> 00:22:47,640
of him he'll never catch me thought the

378
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,780
hair I think I'll take a little nap

379
00:22:50,780 --> 00:22:54,000
the age of the Vikings is said to have

380
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,780
ended with the conquest of England in

381
00:22:56,780 --> 00:22:58,760
1066.

382
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,910
don't you believe it

383
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[Music]

384
00:23:31,820 --> 00:23:35,000
thank you

385
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:48,159
[Music]